So many puns
January 19th, 2009
come to mind but all are trite…….
My marriage is like a horse with a broken leg(aaargh) so I’ve started to get some help for myself before I lose my mind. The first order of business seems to get me in a better frame of mind about myself so, to that end, I have self esteem homework to do. Naturally I cannot do this by myself and I need you guys to weigh in. What do you do to improve your self esteem? What do other people do? Do you think I’m nuts because 5-6 years of near constant neglect by my husband has put my self esteem in the toilet? Is it my fault that happened or do our partners bear responsibility in this as well?
Share share SHARE
Edit: I meant to mention This post by Thoradora. I sent the link to my husband and he didn’t have much to say but One of the assholes he works with felt compelled to laugh quite loudly at what I thought was a SPOT ON post.
9 comments on “So many puns”
01
My two cents: Volunteer, especially in an area where your help is needed. Helping others will help you feel good about yourself.
02
Thanks Andrea. I do volunteer at my daughter’s preschool and I used to be on the B.O.D. of a large sports org. but I got pretty burned out and I’m spread pretty thin right now. I have to be choosy.
03
Hmmm, well he is responsible for anything he has said or done, but you have to take come responsibility for your reaction and why you let his opinions chip away at your esteem.
Is this a pattern? A learned behaviour that repeats over and over in your life, or a one time thing?
Once you work that part out, do a big list of your good qualities, your skills, your accomplishments in life, and read it over and over again. Don’t focus on the negative at all.
Then get out and get real life contacts. Don’t sit at home and stew about it.
04
yes, mother
05
As someone who can relate… I found getting out of the house, hanging out with some friends, getting a full time job have all helped. Making time for myself even though it usually seems impossible. I am worth it and so are you.
06
Black nail polish on my toes, a $7 eyebrow wax, clean sheets on my bed (after I clean the room and make it feel fresh and comfortable and MINE), For me the smaller things are better than the bigger.
07
I agree with Violet completely. I myself, had to start small. Some little things I did:
- got a new haircut
- bought MYSELF flowers
- joined a therapy group, then began 1-on-1 counseling when that ended
- read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” (I swear, it was the best comic relief yet at the same time, a reality check that I needed but couldn’t seem to take from people who loved me)
- re-connected with friends
- forced myself to get out and do 1 thing for myself per week (even if that meant sitting in a coffee shop alone for an hour)
Love you!
08
I agree with A. Little things help. Be nice to yourself. Recognize when your inner critic is keeping you down.
And…from the perspective of someone who has a pattern of choosing to participate in poor relationships…take a long hard look at yourself. I read a GREAT book called “How to Avoid Dangerous Men”. It was a harsh read but completely enlightening.
09
What works for me:
-taking care of myself - eyebrows, manicure/pedicure etc
-counselling
-taking a walk
-spending less time around the person or persons who bring me down or who are abusive
-spending more time with people who are positive (happy, funny etc)
-identifying what activities bring joy into my life, and being intentional in seeking them out
-prayer/talking with God, asking Him for help when needed
-recognizing that it’s an ongoing thing, it’s a marathon not a sprint, some days or moments will be up, and some will be down
-going easy on oneself
Take care.
Leave a Reply